The Call
by Phanstarlight
Summary: Dean wants Sam to remember what they used to have; what they used to be. Dean wants Sam to remember because he wants to have it all back. Wincest. Set during the beginning of season 1. Fluffy angst (because I would say there's more fluff than angst).


**I don't own any of the rights to Supernatural. If I did, there would be a lot of non-canon things that would definitely be canon. I got the idea for this fic from a video on YouTube (/watch?v=BphIAlo_5OI). Enjoy :)**

_It started out as a feeling_

I was never really sure when it had started; maybe it had always been there, right from the start. That overwhelming sense to protect you and care for you. I knew the realities of the world more than you did and though I knew neither of us could escape this life I had to try to keep you safe. Dad, though genetically was family, treated us more as soldiers than anything else. We were the only family each other had so I had to protect you at all costs.

_Which then grew into a hope_

It was only when we became teenagers did that feeling change. It wasn't a sudden realization like in all those crappy tv shows but it came to me slowly. And before I knew it the feeling to protect you had long since changed into something more; something much stronger. I didn't really know what it was and, though I would never admit it even to myself, it scared me. Every time I looked at you I seemed to just know that no one in the world would ever be more important to me than you. It took awhile but soon I had figured out what the feeling was becoming. It was hope... but it was more than that. It was love.

_Which then turned into a quiet thought_

As we grew older I began to think more and more about you. I saw you in a way that I had never seen anyone before. Though I never actually admitted to myself I knew what this was. I was in love with you. It probably should have come to me as a shock. But, to be honest, I wasn't surprised in the slightest. I knew from the moment I first saw you that I would do everything I could to care for you. Falling for you probably wasn't the most conventional way of doing that but nothing about our lives were conventional anyway.

_Which then turned into a quiet word_

I knew I had to tell you but I just didn't know how. You looked up to me like I was some kind of superhero even by the age of 15. I had never been good with expressing any kind of emotion with words but I knew I couldn't keep this a secret. Not only would it drive me insane but I thought that if there was even the slightest chance of you feeling any of this towards me then I should take the chance. No risk, no glory after all. Do you remember when I told you? It was when Dad was out on another hunt (again) but had decided to leave us at the motel (for once). You were sitting curled up on the couch with your nose buried in a book. I was in the other room silently prep-talking myself to just grow a pair and tell you. I went in and grabbed the book out of your hands. You whined at me for a bit but I just sat down next to you. Apparently my anxiety was showing because you asked me what was wrong. I tried to tell you; I tried to say that perfectly scripted out paragraph I had rehearsed in my head a thousand times over... but it just wouldn't come out. My mouth refused to form the right words... or any words at all. So I quickly shut my mouth, stared at you for a few seconds, made a split second decision, leaned in... and kissed you.

_And then that word grew louder and louder, til it was a battle cry_

As soon as I realized what I had done I tried to pull away. But you just grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me back; pushing our lips together again. This time I was the shocked one. The feel of your lips on mine was too good to be true and before I knew it I was kissing you back. I still have no idea how long we had stayed on that couch in that anonymous motel room pouring out our love to each other. But all I know is that when we finally went to sleep that night, in my bed with my arms curled around you and your head resting on my chest, was that I loved you.

_I'll come back when you call me, no need to say goodbye_

We never told Dad, of course. But we continued to love each other in a way that was beyond brothers. I made a promise to you that I would never leave you. Do you remember that? I promised that I would always be there for you and that I would always love you.

* * *

_Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light_

Everything was perfect. Or, at least, as perfect as you could get living the life we do. Everything was fine... but then you tried to leave. You wanted to get out of this life. You wanted to run away to Stanford and have a normal life. I tried to tell you that you would always end up with this life; people like us don't get to have normal lives and normal families. No matter what path you took you would always end up as a hunter.

_You'll come back when it's over_

But you still tried to leave. I said that you would come back after Uni. Nothing lasts forever and you would come back to a hunter's life soon enough. Do you remember what I said? 'No matter what happens you'll always come back to us... to me'. And do you remember what your reply was? 'I don't need you'. Do you know how much that broke me? What you said right then was what made me snap.

_No need to say goodbye_

I started to beg. No more convincing or persuading. I begged you to stay. I was desperate. After everything we had shared together you couldn't just leave me to go to University. I couldn't let you go but you were willing to drop me like a stone in the ocean. And knowing that as I watched you walk away from me... it broke my heart.

* * *

_Now we're back to the beginning_

So here we are, Sammy. After everything that has happened we're back right where we started. Saving people, hunting things, the family business. I missed you ya' know. You undoubtedly haven't missed me but still. I know you're upset about Jess and Dad and you think this is all my fault. But please, just let me back in.

_It's just a feeling and no one knows yet_

It's still here. Buried deep under all the other crap that's inside my muddy soul. That feeling. The want, no the _need_ to protect you, to care for you... to love you. I need you to be in my life. I don't think you even want me in yours but... I have to try.

_But just because they can't feel it too doesn't mean that you have to forget_

Please Sam, I'm begging you. Just remember. Remember what we used to share. Remember everything we had, all the emotions you felt. You don't have to block them out; you don't have to push me away again. Let me in, just like you did all those years ago.

_Let your memories grow stronger and stronger, til they're before your eyes_

Remember how you felt when I kissed you. Remember that kiss and what it was like. The fireworks that came from that single connection of our lips. Remember what I promised you. How I said I would always protect you, care for you and love you. Remember all the little things you used to say to me. All the stupid things that I would have passed off as a 'chick flick' moment if they were said by anyone but you. Remember what we used to be. Please Sammy... remember me.

_You'll come back when I call you, no need to say goodbye_

All I need to do is remind you. To show you what we used have. To prove that we _can _have that again. So I tell you the only way I know how. Not with words but by watching you curl up on the couch and bury your nose in a book. I steal the book from you. You whine like a baby at me but I stay silent and sit down next to you. I turn my body in to face you. I look into the beautiful hazel depths that are your eyes. Then I slowly lean in... and kiss you.

_You came back when I called you, you never should have said goodbye_

When I pull back I'm almost scared to see the reaction on your face. But my eyes never make it. You grab the front of my shirt and pull me back before I hardly get to take a breath. Our lips are pushed together once more. And I smile, because I know that even after all this time and after everything we may have said to each other... we're still the same as we always have been.

Bitch.

Go on Sammy. Say it, please say it.

Jerk.


End file.
